Cathedral of St. Patrick
Guidelines for Funeral Eulogies

A funeral Mass offers us the opportunity to celebrate the life of someone whom we love. It also affords us the opportunity to gather together to say goodbye to them within a sacramental context, focused upon our belief that we will see them again in our Heavenly Father's kingdom. As part of this, we understand that family and friends often find it helpful to have someone close to their loved one offer a eulogy at the end of the Mass.

While we have always supported a family's desire to have someone offer a eulogy, we have sometimes had them come back after the Mass and report that the eulogy provided was not helpful or healing. On those occasions, individuals have presented their remarks, with the very best of intentions, and inadvertently said things or spoke so long that the eulogy caused the family and friends of the deceased even more anguish on a day that was already filled with enough pain.

In order to help avoid this and to assist those wishing to offer a eulogy the following guidelines have been established for eulogies to be offered at the Cathedral of St. Patrick:

• The individual(s) providing direction to the funeral director regarding the funeral arrangements for the deceased much notify the funeral director of their desire to have someone offer a eulogy and provide the identify of that person. The funeral director is to then notify the celebrant for the Mass of the family's wishes.


• The written text for the eulogy is to be presented to the celebrant for the Mass a minimum of twenty-four (24) hours prior to the Mass either directly or through the funeral director. Included on that document should be the following:
  
  • The name of the person offering the eulogy and his/her relationship to the deceased.
  • Phone numbers where the eulogist can be contacted should the celebrant for the Mass wish to speak with him/her. It should also include the hours they will be available at those numbers.


• The eulogy should be limited to a maximum of five (5) minutes in length.


• The eulogist should consider the following as he/she prepares their remarks:
  • The tone of the eulogy, particularly those of a humorous nature, should reflect and be appropriate to the spiritual and sacramental context of the Mass.
  • The eulogy should celebrate the life of the deceased and offer hope for the future.
  • Although anger is often a part of the grieving process, the funeral Mass is not the time or place to express anger at, find fault with, or affix blame to anyone or anything.


• The celebrant for the Mass will call the eulogist identified through these guidelines forward at the appropriate time.

Families have found that eulogies that do not fit within these guidelines may be more appropriately offered at a wake service or reception after the graveside service.

If the individual offering the eulogy has any questions or concerns regarding these guidelines or the preparation of their remarks the funeral director, the celebrant for the Mass and/or the priests at the Cathedral of St. Patrick will be happy to assist them as much as possible.